Babysitting by niece
I am a full time “in-office working” mother. Sounds strange. Right?!.. might be ... According to me all mothers are working; only difference, some choose to stay at home and other chose to have some “me time” by accepting a full/ part time job outside. Either option you will be on duty 24/7 across the globe. I belong to second category. 😊. By this I have a thought. “Working mother” term should be prefixed by “The”. In school days we have been taught that universal truths are always prefixed by THE like -The Sun similarly The Working Mother... may be silly idea hi..hi..hi.
Babysitting. Yes! It is one of the primary concerns as a in-office working mother, I need to make sure is well addressed while I am out of my home for more than 10 hours in a day. In India I have seen couple of ways to handle this. Like you have your parents/ In Laws to look after them or you leave your kid/s in a day/Extended care facility or you arrange a house maid/ Domestic help to look after your kid/s at home. One of my friends' kids stay in a neighbor’s house for an hour or two before their mother returns. One of my neighbors’ s girls are grown enough to be at home by themselves after their school (though this is the only case I have seen) In another case, my hubby’s friend leaves daughter at his Bro’s house as their mom is taking care of his(brother) kids there.
So, I have tried couple of options myself. Firstly, I quit my full-time job to be a stay at home working mother when my elder one born. I am not at all good at that job hence I rejoined the full time in-office working mother category and I settled for a nearby "Day care" for my elder one after the school hours for almost 3 years and had a no bad experience. The second time, learnt from experience and do not wanted to take risk again, I just enjoyed my Maternity leaves and back to in-office working mom status. So, my in-laws are supporting this time by staying with us to take care of my two-year-old. This is the best option you ever get as per me, as kids are safe at home with their grand parents (according to me) still it comes with its own cons too. Like you can’t expect your kids to besuper disciplined. They are expected to be more spoilt in Grand parents care. At same time you can not discipline them as they (Grand parents) become a protective shield immediately.
Another, as part of an Indian society/ orthodox family where in-Law parents live together, you are expected to fulfill daughter-in-law duties as well whether you belong to stay at home or in office category. Apart from this we have had to go through other temporary options like, In an emergency, my in-laws took kids with them to village and we both had to join them in the night there or in-laws stayed back in village during our visit for any number of reasons and we both had to travel to and from office for a day or two (more sometimes) directly from village as kids would be stayed back with them. It is tough sometimes but country like India we can manage anything.
Recently I had to experience a new type of babysitting experience. Because of a mother- in-law’s sister passed away unexpectedly (I am too sorry for that) and as we do not wanted my elder one's classes to be missed, my hubby-dubby’s niece joined us for a week’s time to babysit my younger one; till either myself or my hubby returned from our work. Everyone was concerned as she is just a teenager and not even looked after her own brother ever and stayed alone at home big never. But we were left with no other option but to bring her.
So Day one: I am in mid of readying my elder to her school, my hubby: did you tell her how to make the feed? Did you tell her not to open doors for stranger? (she has been brought up in a rural area) did you ask this? did u tell that?? Etc etc. Finally, he left for office ( thank God!). Now I have list of To-do’s before leaving for office in addition to my daily routine according to this change. Like I need to prepare the baby food, food for the teenager, prepare my own lunch, laundry and what not and got call from my dear MIL (Mother-In-Law). She started with same set of questions till “ did you tell her how to operate the microwave oven?”. Patiently I answered all her queries, check marked all the to-do’s, woke the baby up, fed the baby settled the baby with a toy then instructed, explained everything under the sky would require our niece to be safe at home alone, put my number on fridge magnet and left for office.
Reached office and even before starting my desktop, surprised to receive call from dearest hubby so early in the day for what?? To have the same set of queries. I am like how do I look?? A teenager myself? I know my job. I do care for her like my own. I too have concerns like how she will manage if the baby gets messy beyond her control or will she be able to put the baby to nap easily or what if my hubby not able to reach to the bus stop in time where elder one needs to be picked up. Inhale!! Exhale!! Inhale!! Exhale!! See you don’t get mad over. By keeping my calm, I answered him.
Later in the day, got updates like baby fed well, playing, up for nap etc. meanwhile she was getting regular calls from my MIL dear as well. In the noon tried calling and not able to reach the home phone. Bhoom!! Was bit concerned about the well-being of both. Meanwhile Hubby dear called again to ask was everything fine at home as he was unable to reach there too. Finally, the girl called up and told was asleep with baby. She too tried many a time to reach any one of us but to get a network busy issue. I was like " oh!! I can breathe now because I wish to live little long ". Thus Day one ended without any issues by my hubby picking up my elder on time at her stop and reaching home in time.
Now my new To-do’s from Day One would include Arrange for an alternative phone as the home phone causing issues, search for new Lunch recipes as she is throwing typical teenage tantrum I dint eat the lunch or stock up more snacks so that she does not go hungry. Ask the domestic help to come on time as my niece supposed to let only the domestic help to let in when she is alone. And finally, ALL the best for next few days.
Here comes Day Two: Baby woke up 3.45am. I just pretend to be asleep thinking baby will fall asleep too. but she is very smart. Finally I lost the battle and took her to Living room so that she can start playing ( My walking time skipped :( ). After an hour I readied my elder one to school as daily routine, woke the niece so that she can freshen up before we leave for office. Before I left, baby was asleep. so explained my niece how to settle the baby if gets messy after getting up, then left for office.
As from Yesterdays' New To-Dos. Arranged an alternative number for her to be in contact with, asked her what she would like to have for lunch, and prepared the same, stocked up some sacks and cookies and oh hooo!! Day two is another success.Milestone achieved. So only to-Do to fix is Domestic help's timings. giving all type of reasoning why she is late :-c. Similarly other days went by without issues and I am back to normal as my in-Law parents returned.
Good Job MoM!.
Babysitting. Yes! It is one of the primary concerns as a in-office working mother, I need to make sure is well addressed while I am out of my home for more than 10 hours in a day. In India I have seen couple of ways to handle this. Like you have your parents/ In Laws to look after them or you leave your kid/s in a day/Extended care facility or you arrange a house maid/ Domestic help to look after your kid/s at home. One of my friends' kids stay in a neighbor’s house for an hour or two before their mother returns. One of my neighbors’ s girls are grown enough to be at home by themselves after their school (though this is the only case I have seen) In another case, my hubby’s friend leaves daughter at his Bro’s house as their mom is taking care of his(brother) kids there.
So, I have tried couple of options myself. Firstly, I quit my full-time job to be a stay at home working mother when my elder one born. I am not at all good at that job hence I rejoined the full time in-office working mother category and I settled for a nearby "Day care" for my elder one after the school hours for almost 3 years and had a no bad experience. The second time, learnt from experience and do not wanted to take risk again, I just enjoyed my Maternity leaves and back to in-office working mom status. So, my in-laws are supporting this time by staying with us to take care of my two-year-old. This is the best option you ever get as per me, as kids are safe at home with their grand parents (according to me) still it comes with its own cons too. Like you can’t expect your kids to be
Another, as part of an Indian society/ orthodox family where in-Law parents live together, you are expected to fulfill daughter-in-law duties as well whether you belong to stay at home or in office category. Apart from this we have had to go through other temporary options like, In an emergency, my in-laws took kids with them to village and we both had to join them in the night there or in-laws stayed back in village during our visit for any number of reasons and we both had to travel to and from office for a day or two (more sometimes) directly from village as kids would be stayed back with them. It is tough sometimes but country like India we can manage anything.
Recently I had to experience a new type of babysitting experience. Because of a mother- in-law’s sister passed away unexpectedly (I am too sorry for that) and as we do not wanted my elder one's classes to be missed, my hubby-dubby’s niece joined us for a week’s time to babysit my younger one; till either myself or my hubby returned from our work. Everyone was concerned as she is just a teenager and not even looked after her own brother ever and stayed alone at home big never. But we were left with no other option but to bring her.
So Day one: I am in mid of readying my elder to her school, my hubby: did you tell her how to make the feed? Did you tell her not to open doors for stranger? (she has been brought up in a rural area) did you ask this? did u tell that?? Etc etc. Finally, he left for office ( thank God!). Now I have list of To-do’s before leaving for office in addition to my daily routine according to this change. Like I need to prepare the baby food, food for the teenager, prepare my own lunch, laundry and what not and got call from my dear MIL (Mother-In-Law). She started with same set of questions till “ did you tell her how to operate the microwave oven?”. Patiently I answered all her queries, check marked all the to-do’s, woke the baby up, fed the baby settled the baby with a toy then instructed, explained everything under the sky would require our niece to be safe at home alone, put my number on fridge magnet and left for office.
Reached office and even before starting my desktop, surprised to receive call from dearest hubby so early in the day for what?? To have the same set of queries. I am like how do I look?? A teenager myself? I know my job. I do care for her like my own. I too have concerns like how she will manage if the baby gets messy beyond her control or will she be able to put the baby to nap easily or what if my hubby not able to reach to the bus stop in time where elder one needs to be picked up. Inhale!! Exhale!! Inhale!! Exhale!! See you don’t get mad over. By keeping my calm, I answered him.
Later in the day, got updates like baby fed well, playing, up for nap etc. meanwhile she was getting regular calls from my MIL dear as well. In the noon tried calling and not able to reach the home phone. Bhoom!! Was bit concerned about the well-being of both. Meanwhile Hubby dear called again to ask was everything fine at home as he was unable to reach there too. Finally, the girl called up and told was asleep with baby. She too tried many a time to reach any one of us but to get a network busy issue. I was like " oh!! I can breathe now because I wish to live little long ". Thus Day one ended without any issues by my hubby picking up my elder on time at her stop and reaching home in time.
Now my new To-do’s from Day One would include Arrange for an alternative phone as the home phone causing issues, search for new Lunch recipes as she is throwing typical teenage tantrum I dint eat the lunch or stock up more snacks so that she does not go hungry. Ask the domestic help to come on time as my niece supposed to let only the domestic help to let in when she is alone. And finally, ALL the best for next few days.
Here comes Day Two: Baby woke up 3.45am. I just pretend to be asleep thinking baby will fall asleep too. but she is very smart. Finally I lost the battle and took her to Living room so that she can start playing ( My walking time skipped :( ). After an hour I readied my elder one to school as daily routine, woke the niece so that she can freshen up before we leave for office. Before I left, baby was asleep. so explained my niece how to settle the baby if gets messy after getting up, then left for office.
As from Yesterdays' New To-Dos. Arranged an alternative number for her to be in contact with, asked her what she would like to have for lunch, and prepared the same, stocked up some sacks and cookies and oh hooo!! Day two is another success.Milestone achieved. So only to-Do to fix is Domestic help's timings. giving all type of reasoning why she is late :-c. Similarly other days went by without issues and I am back to normal as my in-Law parents returned.
Good Job MoM!.
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